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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I din have the desire to fill the entry of this blog this week. I lose desire to do anything actually. It is said that a woman like a wave, her self esteem rises and falls like a wave motion. I know that my wave is crashing down rite now and waitin to reach the bottom. So i am a bit emotional n full of negative feelings. It seems so hard to find a perfect time for me to be heard and understood without being selfish. At the moment i realize wat "unconditional love" really means.

Btw, at the moment, i could feel wat io felt when i was in Singapore for 2 weeks last year and left him all alone there. It's sux. But still... a part of life ;p

I did lots of things these days to cheer me up =)
I got loads of serials from ww n Zoolay which is 情深深雨濛濛 and Started with a Kiss ... n oso i brought Korean serials from Indo too, First Love of a Royal Prince. I love all the movies...


I am homesick
I need a pillowtalk
I want a puppy
I hate a word called "miss" and i hate its existance in our life dictionary.

between Germany & Taiwan : 9:20 AM

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Hi there =) Finally i have a rest hour after dealing with my job today. I lost my temper with Jamie. He's such a horrible evil ... grrr!!! I lost my weight ... 1 kg. Dunno why... All i know is i'd never been 44 kg for these past 5 years. So weird ha .. tiz week suddenly i am 44 kg again. I admit it i often get late n forget my meal :P For instance, today i woke up at 12.00 pm n rushed to Bear without lunch ... my lunch only a quick Choco mochi bread on the bus. So, b4 went to the church i had a full packet of KFC for myself. I deserve it!! huhuhu

iO sms-ed me a bad new. Oma tien (papi io's mom) just broken her back. It sounds so bad now... tomorrow io will bring his parents to the airport at 05.00 A.M.
The good new is ... he got the cingah's married cd. It oso records we danced at Plaza Bapindo hehehe .... i'm eager to see tat cd!

Now, i'm getting used to be alone without being lonely. I download loads of songs... esp Married Song, not bc i'm crazy of getting married but the songs r really good n relax my nerve!

I almost finish the "men r from mars n women r from venus" novel. At first it sounds bullshit, coz each person is diff. But at least, i see some truth points come out... i know tat i'm worthy of love, i dun have to earn it, i deserve it ... it's ok to giving less n receive more :) N i thank io who always "listens" to me which means that he only listens without putting on his Mr.Fix-it hat ... shows emphaty n gives good solutions whenever i screw up. I should sorry him too ... sumtimes i annoy him or piss him off. oups...

My bro is home now:) I wish i was at indo too now. Honestly, if there was no Virginia class rite now, maybe i will take my mom's offer to go home on dec instead of on Jan.

The clock is ticking to 01.00 A.M. now... my bed is calling me ... *ciao*

between Germany & Taiwan : 8:21 AM

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I havent seen my schatz' face for a month :( pathetic rite? Yeah ... he doesnt have a webcam in indo... and also ... the comp at home is not compatible for the cam driver. So... his bro in low sent me one of io's pic with his new hair style. He looks FAB! n cute ... love tat hair style hun! I din put the pic here coz i wanna be the only one who knows wat he looks like rite now :P

I remember, at the same time 2 years ago, we just knew each other. iO sent me an xmas gift. Tat gift was a surprise n i absolutely had no idea bout tat. I checked my box office n found out sumthin in there n the package smelled good. Tat gift made me cant stop smiling for 2 days *lol* But anyway, since then i always receive the same gift every year. So ... i wonder i'll have the same gift tiz year ;p i'm gonna collect those same gift year to year.

Well... i should sleep now.

Sweet dream sweety ^^

between Germany & Taiwan : 10:51 AM

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I'm taking a sip of my hot choco ... listening to Il Divo's ... feel so calm n relax =)
Actually today i fell a bit lonely. I ran out cash n can't top up my Ok card. So i cant contact anybody today :( ...

My works r not bad today. I got a new student, who is on d 6th grade. My boss told me tat tis boy a bit retarded, so i need to help him memorize A-Z. He's been trying to memorize A to Z for 6 months. Poor him. Anyway he's sweet in my class.

I've just received my other mem card. It's been fixed n now my notebook works faster n better with 1G memory.

These 2 days i'm full of ideas n plan to design my Dad's restaurant new menu hehe we'll see if it'll work or not. I borrowed Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus from the lib. Well... tiz is only a book ... like a phsycology book ... but u dun have to follow it 100%. Tat book is only for super unsensitive man n super selfish woman. Considering myself as a bit selfish n lack of sensitivity, so tis book quite reminds me wat should i avoid to do for the future. Frankly, i'm eager to buy sum novels which i've been eyed for months, n rite now is the perfect time to read while io's in indo. However poor me run out cash n those books r bloody expensive. Recently, count on my lib's collections and some movies n serials.

Elis, my fwen, oso my travel agent hehe ... messaged me, asking me whether i want to book a ticket for winter vacay. Unfortunatelly, i wun go home tis vacay. I don't know ... i wanna celebrate xmas n new year with my close fwens (jule ww meyen...etc) here before we all back for good. A hard decision though ... i miss my fam too. In addition, my step mom called me n asked me to go home. *sob* ... *confused*
60% of me dun wanna go home. So, i think i wun :)

My darl is sick now. He's kinda allergic to smoke and Indo's weather. Dun ask me how much i miss him :( I do miss him so much, i just dun want to nag him to say tat i miss him. Sweety ... pliz be hurry...

Ow ... another thing, Happy Belated Bday Meyen!!!!!! I'm sooo sorry didn call u yesterday. Honestly, i remember ur bday, *swear* ... i planned to call u at the mitnite b4 00.00 ... i overslept. Sorry...n again... it's soooo hard to call u!!!!! calling u is like calling a celebrity!
Hope u love our gift hehe ^^

Darl, sweet dream there ... *kussen*

between Germany & Taiwan : 8:35 AM

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Hoams :) I have a good sleep these days after calling io n chatting with him I feel so much relieve. Yeah ... i'm just too spoilt to be true ;p Anyway, since i had plenty times to do nothing, so I tried to change my blogskin. I download the code from blogskins.com then changed it a lil bit. I wonder when will i have a strong will to make my own huhu ... I'll try to learn sumthin next month while io'r still in Indo. Sometimes when we'r togetha I dun dare to attach myself with photoimpact or web stuffs too longer :) even though he is still waiting for me... plus teasing me so i cant focus on my work.

I did my laundry, touch and caress my notebook gently whole day hahaha horny me ... lol ... ok ... i almost forgot Virginia's homework. One of her homeworks is a bit fun. U all must have known a story bout 3 lil piggies, rite? It's an old folks n heard from a generation to generation. Oki ... wat i have to do is change the story a lil bit based on the 1st lil piggie as the point of view. A lil bit confusing at first, soon afterward it's finished smoothly.

I gtg now ... grok grok ... pigging!

Ciao~~~

Darl, i know u havent checked the entries for a month ... just wanna let u noe, i MUSM!!!

between Germany & Taiwan : 6:18 AM

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Wat a bloody nite! I can't sleep till 07.00 a.m. when i am supposed to work at 10.00 (T_T) i gave up and switched on my notebook on 04.00 had a chat with papih candra + henk2 ... n oso with 3 strangers from Irc. It's a bit weird ... i havent used irc for more than a year ... a bit bizzare when sumone ask me asl pls? *lol* n i gotta lie bout my age :P So, back to the topic, i called my boss at 09.00 told him i cant come and felt terrible sorry for this :(
I hate todayyyy .... hate it!!! I wonder why my brain cant stop thinking all nite long?????? I do need a help for my sleeping problem. Any idea? pills? doctors? watever.... fuck all!

between Germany & Taiwan : 5:18 AM

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Harry Potter & The Goblet Fire is FABBBB!!!! I love the story ... the scene ... the imagination and creativity =) I think Potter's 2nd and 4th films r the best ... the 3rd is a bit gloommy although the story's quite good. But well... today i have an excellent day off. We window shopped... eyed on my fave watch n promise to buy it next month when i get my salary ^^ ... then we ate Indonesian food Buffet! It was sooo cheap!!!! We ordered pecel ayam, kangkung cha, baso kuah ... + lalap + we could oso eat rendang, sambal hati, chicken curry ... etc n it only costs us 100nt/each.

Now, i should get ready to sleep, cos i have to work tomorrow moin. I have lots of things to write but i think i'll do it tomorrow when i have a free time after doin Virginia's homework and tidyin up my messy bathroom =)

between Germany & Taiwan : 7:13 AM

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Last nite my insomnia was back again (T_T). I laid n rolled on my bed till 4 a.m. n gotta work at 10.00 ... poor me! I've tried to have a normal life since iO's back to Indo. It succeed only for a couple of days. The thing is, i can't get excited over sumthin or doin sumthing seriousl at the time when i'm supposed to sleep. Last nite, at 00.00 I had my supper which is Red bean soup and oso ... i was tempted by wewe's offer to search nice boots around. I live in a bulding which is surrounded by stores and foods :P We still din find our boots ... but i saw a ballet flat, the price is reasonable ... but the color is too unique to go with my clothes.

So, today i had a tired look, dark circles around my eyes ... miserably worked ... n then i forgot tat i oso had to teach Yaya for 4.30 p.m not 05.00 like i thought. Gosh!!! my living reminder is in Indo rite now and i screwed up. Well... at least today is not toooo bad. Actually, since I have a secure place to count on and broad shoulders to cry on, my horibble day doesnt quite seem completely shit anymore.

between Germany & Taiwan : 7:28 AM

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I'm so boring here, got stucked in my rutinity + chores. After tat, i do nothing except eating, watching movies and eating again. I did window shopping with Jule n we booked Harry Potter's tikects for tis Saturday. I bumped a lady from esprit counter n offer me a really good price for watch. I am looking for a watch rite now, a sport one, so i could wear it to work ... but accidentally i fall in love again with a white leather watch. So, i'm pretty much sure tat i'm a leather watch freak lol ... unfortunatelly no $$$$$$$ rite now *sob* .... blah

Anyway ... io's doin fine there. He has sum fun for sure. I know he always be there when i need him ... but still ... i need his presence rite now.

between Germany & Taiwan : 7:59 AM

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I teach the monkey kids like usual today and i oso played with them at the park. We rollerbladed n rode a bike hehe... sounds so healthy rite? Unfortunatelly, my fave polka dot pink skirt's zipper was out of order *so shock* ... so i covered it up with one of the kid's sweater lol .... then rushed to buy a new pair of jeans. I found a pair of jeans tat is ripped n modificated hehe so cool ... it's almost similar with the jeans tat io bought for me in diff color. I got a good bargain too. It's 890 nt n i said gimmie discount, then the lady said "ok 800 nt not less" ... then i checked my purse n found 700 nt with coins lol ... so i gave her the 700 nt n all my coins (40nt) hehehe .... While accompanying those kiddo at the Toy R Us, i read an old novel of mine which almost be forgotten of its existance in my room. The title is The seventh Commandment. It isssss greatttt!!!!! It belongs to my aunt, i borrowed it 4 years ago lol ...
Anyway, i finally finish the Titanic film. It's weird rite? I'd never finished tat movie 6 years ago. I watched lots of old movies on the tv these days. All r my fave; Sister Act, Bethoven I&II, Mrs. Doubtfire, Parents' trap, etc. Hope one day "it takes two" would be on the tv. I love twins movie. I always imagined tat i had a twin sis, played togetha, wore d same pretty clothes when i was 4.

Oki, gotta go now =) I'll have work tomorrow moin then me n Jule will go to Venice theatere to book Harry Potter 4's ticket. Hope we could get it.

Ow, another news, iO had a new hair cut!!! he went to a korean saloon n had his hair done like Rain. I wonder how he looks like... i'm sure still cute though!

Sweet dream darl!!!

between Germany & Taiwan : 7:41 AM

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I havent spoke a single word in Indonesia for 24 hours. Poor me *lol* A bit tiring today but so far so good. Mein sweety is oso good hehe. He will have a hair cut tomorrow, buy a gift for Viola (Kongah's niece) n attend Viola's bday party at McD hahaha I let him to flirt the babies tomorrow ... but not the mommy ya!!!

Sweet dream, darl!

between Germany & Taiwan : 10:51 AM

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We are in the same road to be maturer.
We r workin on it.
We love each other.

between Germany & Taiwan : 6:06 AM

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I finally understand.
We got it clearly.

-full stop-

between Germany & Taiwan : 11:45 PM

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I did nothing today. Totally pigging all day long. I slept till noon, ate lots of stuffs, chit chat wif d gals, bought sum stuffs, searching for new brushes n watched Friends again! My room is soo messy but i'm just to lazy to get my ass off from d chair. Io n me chat n sms like usual, however, dunno why he keeps worrying bout me. He said tat my expression today is not usuall. He cant stop asking "r u ok?, any problem? coz u dun smile a lot today" Well... it's weird to smile alone rite???? Dunno ... maybe i'm on d peak of boredom. Hey check it out ... http://www.veniceevents.com
Nice web rite? I miss those times we spent there ... n I recomend whoever u r to have ur honeymoon there instead of Paris. Venice is much more better n romantic than Paris.

Suddenly I miss him so much :) He's still on the jet lag ... U know wat... the distance between Taiwan - Jakarta is nearer than Taiwan - Germany, but it feels further for me. Hope u allright there schatz. Have i said I love u today???

-I love U-

between Germany & Taiwan : 8:47 AM

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In tiz semester I only have 2 classes and when it comes to exam week, i feel nothing *lol* Today i just finished virginia's exam, i would be totally free tomorrow. But nothin i can do coz my gals fwens r busy tomorrow Hiks. I miss iO so much. We talked on d phone and had a chat too. It likes everything's going well there. It's almost a week that he's been to Indo, n i start sick of movies. I watch lots of movies, series, downloading songs, rearrange my collection n bla bla but stillllll sooo boring!!! I use his towel today and wear his fave sleeping T-shirt ... so tat i could feel close to him. He gains 10 Kg since we r togetha lol, so now he works hard to get his old shape while i'm not around. Actually i love the chubby of him ;p On the other hand, i'm also getting fatter n fatter. I cant stop eating (>.<) I have a huge appetite. I think i should sleep now. Evrytime i try to reschedule my sleeping time, my eyes dun wanna cooperate with my brain. Tats why i still have my dark circle around my eyes. Anyone knows a good pill which help me to sleep easily??? plis plis recommend me one ok!

between Germany & Taiwan : 10:51 AM

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Lots of things happened these days since io's back home. Indonesia's internet and telkom are totally sux! But ok lar, we still communicate everyday regularly by sms, phone n chatting. Quite hard at first, but now i get used to it. I just got my salaries ^^ yeay!!! hihi *happy*
My mom just called me n upgraded me sum informations.

I was a bit mad to my fwen, Xiao Bai just now. Tomorrow we'r going to have a writing exam n actually all i know is we gotta write a paragraph based on the given topic, just tat! ofkors with the rules; no repetation, paralel, ww, wf, bla bla dunno *havent opened my book yet* .... but tis Xiao Bai keeps annoying me with the call since 2 days ago just to knoe whether i know sumthing tat she doesnt know and i din wanna tell her bout tat. WTF!!! I did really dunno, i din even care! It din mean tat i'm good in writing, but i'm not an ambitious girl. I'm just lucky haha!!! So, when she said tat i was mad n told her directly tat i din even care bout the score stuff n so on. She apologized then. Good for her!!! Oki gotta go now =) need sum sleep b4 having the test tomorrow. Wish me luck ok!

Anyway, i miss spending time with iO in JKT. Suddenly, i remembered the things tat we usually do in Pondok Labu. I miss Nasi goreng abang2 near io's house lol ... with kerupuk bawang .... sharing cheesecake on the large brown sofa while watching Islami films lol n give lots of comments to the crappy film n oso i miss pecel deket gereja hik hik hik mauuuuu!!!!!!!

dah ah, i gotta stop tis food topic b4 i grab another snacks.

Arghhhhhh I'm fattttttttttttttttttt!!!!

between Germany & Taiwan : 8:34 AM

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When you read tis, my darling is on hiw way to KL, Malaysia. Dun ask me how i feel today -blank-. I din work well, n went home coz my tummy aching. So, i chit chat with io b4 he went to Frankfurt airport. There were an accident occured in one of the stations tat effected the whole train system. iO were almost late coz he gotta change to another train. But luckilly eveything goes smoothly. As for myself, i had office meeting with Virginia (she's not as scary as i thought b4). I watched lots of movies todae... re-watched my F-R-I-E-N-D-S ... had a window shopping wif zoolay ... i hint on a pair of boots, but i'm not sure whether it suits my clothes or not. Forget it anyway ... no shopping2an dulu!

Winter is coming. I gotta arrange my winter clothes into the wardrobe. I have a BIG appetite to eat. I cant stop eating!!! help me!!!

My room is so silent. Weird! Tomorrow i can hear io's voice again. Wish he'll be allright.

Miss u dear =)

between Germany & Taiwan : 8:54 AM

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MSG for Cintakuh:

1. Haik jangan kuatir ya...io bakalan baek2 aja kok nanti di indo...its tough but i can manage it^^

2. Dun worry 2...coz i wun be notty...not fun notty alone without U hehe...yang tak nakalin n isengin lagi di tw^^

3. Dun b notty jg ya, bb yang tepat waktu jgn malam2...nanti besoknya nggak seger bangunnya...mandinya cepet n jangan lupa matiin setel n matiin aer panas klo dah selese mandi... i belive in You too and do trully trully love You...dont forget that:D



c U soon Cinta...*mwachhhh Cintakuh


-2gether4ever-

between Germany & Taiwan : 9:18 AM

Msg for you, darling!
1. Dun be notty while i'm not around u
2. Plis enjoy the vacay
3. Be nice at home =)
4. Control your emotion yaaaa
5. Anytime you miss me, just tell me right away.
6. I believe in you ....
7. God bless you!
8. Ich liebe dich ... immer.

between Germany & Taiwan : 8:48 AM

I feel better today =) after skipping my moin class so i could sleep for 9 hours straight. It's my best sleep ever in tis month! On the other hand, mein schatz feel so blue. He doesnt have the mood to go back home. Well, i can understand tiz, but other peep cannot. It's just too weird to visit the places tat we usually visit togetha ... or doin things tat we usually do togetha. It's has been 2 years tat we always spend our vacay to indo togetha ... so for the end of tis year, i'm sorry hunnih u gotta do it by urself. I'd love to but .... u know =)
I think it's not tat bad, you've not celebrated x'mas with fam for these 5 years. So i think it would be greattt vacay. Of kors me gonna miss u here. However, i've prepared many stuffs n planned activities to do; i'll learn more bout web design, i'll cook with ww, i'll redo my hair; i'll shop =) n ofkors ... i'll call u. So plis plis plis dun be worry. I wun be notty here. I wun drink any beer during a party. I wun do silly things. *mwach*

Suddenly i loveeee to eat. My mouth cant stop chewing everythin although my tummy is full oredy. I ate takoyaki, egg tart, choco muffin, fried chicken, thailand noodles and a bar of candy. I promise myself to eat healthy food start from next week.

Oh i have a HUGE new. It's about my ex. An ex tat u hardly know perhaps. He has a child now!!! Wow ... haha i cant believe it. *no comment* Hunnihhhhh kok kita kalahhh sehhhhhh!!!! hahaha

between Germany & Taiwan : 8:27 AM

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